Yup, that's me...

I love winter break. So much.

Okay, so, movie night at Katelyn's on Tuesday. Oh, my goodness. Everyone was so grumpy! If you weren't there, trust me: it wasn't worth it! Holy poop. Oe and Kimmy, were you guys gettin gthose vibes, too? It was like awkward/snippity city. Well, it wasn't that bad. But it wasn't that good, either. And Spaceballs is a ridiculously stupid movie. =D

Oh! So, Merry Christmas! I got a cell phone! Whoopee! Very exciting stuff.

I'm really sick. Which sucks. I have this awful cough that sounds like I'm on my deathbed, and I can't breathe through my nose, which messes with my throat and makes me sound like a nasally grim reaper. Fun stuff. But, it shall come to pass.

Have a very happy December 25th!!!!!!

Mine was okay. There was lots of food. You know, the usual.

I've been feeling kind of grumpy lately. So I've just been kind of removing myself from situations where I could possibly get witchy. I think it's because I've fallen out of my routine. Hannah's home. Which is cool, but now I don't get as much sleep, what with the talking. And texting. Although she has been turning off the sound. Which is thoughtful.
This break hasn't been nearly as productive or relaxing as I had hoped it would be. Which is unfortunate, but, you know, win some, lose some.

Wow, so, okay, this entry has been kind of depressing!! Sorry about that! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not focus on things like "who-killed-who..." Sorry. Monty Python. (A srubbery!!) (Okay, I'm done now.) (Promise. I'm done.)

SO I'm ALMOST in the mood for the tentative beginnings of Christmas things. I'm not interested in watching commercials for Christmas sales of any kind, but I would almost tolerate hearing no more than 2 Xmas songs per day.

Haha

Have a good dayu, all!!!!!!!

How is everyone today?
I'm fine. I could be worse. I could be better. I'm kind of in-the-middle.

I've become more and more antisocial throughout this year, as I'm sure you guys have noticed. I don't know why. It's just that I get so tired being around people. I see people all day at school, and then I get to come home and just be. I get to think, process, and be me, without putting on a fake front. I don't know. It's just that I need a lot of alone time. I live inside my brain. I'm alive inside my brain.

So, Twilight. I'm kind of pumped to see it. However, I really really really really don't want to be squashed next to a bunch of 14 year olds squealing every time Edward comes on the screen. So, mixed feelings there.

Okey dokey, so I think I'm in a bad mood, so I'm gonna go before I start dissing specific people. :)

Have a good day, all!

So I guess I should post more often. It makes sense, because this is pretty much how Kimmy learns what's happening, and Steph apparently really enjoys my ranting on random subjects. :) So I shall make a valiant effort to be more concious of posting more often. That doesn't really make sense, but whatevs.

So today, I was pretty bored. So I headed over to the Converse website and designed my own! I'm not going to buy them (went to Putnam, hopelessly dead broke, etc.), but it was extremely fun to design them nonetheless. Take a look-see! http://www.converse.com/index.aspx?mode=c1&mid=147002665&prodid=chuTaySliOx0601&csid=85#c1

I realized something. I have this thing. When I feel comfortable with someone, ready to fully induct them into our little group-clique thing, I come up with a different way to say their name. It just comes naturally. Instead of "Elise," I say "OEOE!" Instead of "Kim," I say "Kiiiimmmyy!!!" Instead of "Andrea," I say the Mrs.-Fike-inspired "AND-rea." So, welcome, Steve. Because of the new way I say your name, you have been subconsciously but officially permanently accepted into the group. Congratulations!

Oh, so I was watching this thing on "History" (which is still The History Channel to me) about the Antichrist. Ugh, I got so angry at the program that I just turned it off. It was just... weird. I don't know. I mean, normally that really really would intrest me. Maybe it's because it's rooted in Christianity. They didn't interview anyone that I agreed with, and they kind of made it look like this is what ALL Christians believe, no acceptions. It just rubbed me the wrong way, you know? Not that those other denomnations of Christianity are wrong; it's just that I don't think they interviewed a good variety of people to represent multiple aspects of the Cristian belief system. So, boo, History Channel. Epic fail.

Well, I don't know of much else I could write about. Have an awesome day, everyone!!!!!!!

I haven't posted in about a month, in case you missed that. So, what happened in the past month that you don't know about?

1: Halloween. I went to Katelyn's and watched the Others and the Birds. Which was wicked fun. We need another movie night. But Kimmy needs to be there. Leading me to point number two:

I miss Kimmy!!!! I haven't talked to her since... point number three!

Homecoming. That was actually legit fun. They played my theme song ("Hips Don't Lie"), which is always fun. They also played the "Cha Cha Slide," which is especially fun when you get to watch wasted people attempt it. Not to mention, they played "Twist and Shout," which is always a good time.

Not much to write about, but I'l try to write more as stuff is actually happening, because it's more exciting then.

So, I haven't posted in a while. Shocker.

OE brought up an excellent point the other day in her blog about "knowing people." I totally agree with her. I don't think we can ever truly know everything about someone because people are constantly changing, constantly developing new ideas and theories and different ways to view the world. All of these things affect the self. It becomes some people's life goals to just achieve "self-actualization." If it takes an entire lifetime to just realize yourself, I think it would be almost impossible to "realize" someone else. And, I only say "almost" because I don't want to make things black-and-white. I definitely think I will never truly know, 100%, anyone. Including myself. I will never be the guru on the mountaintop. And that's fine with me. I think that as long as we're accepting of other people(s), that's all anyone can ask of us. Plus, you need to learn to totally accept yourself before you truly accept anyone else.
I also agree with OE; I think I know her more than anyone else. That's not because I love her more or anything. It's because we have reahed "yin-yang" status. She is basically the other half of my brain. We just get each other. I don't know how anyone can not believe in a higher power, or at least an underlying... thing. I mean, I talk to OE basically the same amount as Kimmy. While Kimmy and I know each other VERY well, I think she'd agree that it's a totally different connection than me and OE. Kimmy and I are like... kindred spirits. We've always meant to be friends. Best friends. The best friends ever. We are extremely close. I would not be able to live without Kimmy.
But, OE and I... it's almost like we're not friends. It's like we're connected by some underlying force. I would not be able to live without her, but in a different way than Kimmy.

Ugh. Okay, well, I kind of feel like I'm insulting people accidentally and digging myself into a hole of who-likes-who-more. It's not like that. I almost didn't post this entry, but then I realized that if ANYONE understands me at all, it's the people that read this. So, here is me philosophizing about life and underlying connection, bringing in theories from Jung, Hinduism, Bhuddism, Taoism, OE's brain...

Have a good day, all!

Kimmy and Monica crashed our Girl Scout campfire singalong. Which is awesome. Thanks for coming. It made the campfire infinitely more enjoyable.

So the thing that OE did was cool. With the lyrics and everything. Hmm... what lyrics speak to me? I'm not really a huge lyric person, but there are some songs that I really like lyrically.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

"Fix You" by Coldplay. I love this song because.. it sounds kind of like breathing to me. That sounds weird. But it does. The lyrics relate to me. Yeah.

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you

"Sitting Waiting Wishing" by Jack Johnson. If you can't see the significance, you're clearly missing out on basically my whole existance. Sorry, Steve.

Live high
Live mighty
Live righteously
Takin it easy
Live high, live mighty
Live righteously

"Live High" by Jason Mraz. This could be my theme song. Simple, to the point, makes me think of fields of daisies.

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce
I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes
And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age
And they never check to see my grades
What a fool I'd be to start complaining

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd love to believe it's all about love for a child

"Love for a Child" by Jason Mraz. I'm not going to pretend like I know what divorce is like, but for some reason I just love the harsh cruelness of these lyrics.

Okay, well I'm done for the day. G'night.

So, I bruised the palm of my hand. The corner of the cupboard door just jumped out at me. The worst part is, though, that you can't even see the bruise. So I think people think I'm crazy. Whatevs.

I have a history paper due in... 6 days. And I haven't started yet. Whoops. Steve and OE have the same paper due. I'm procrastinating as I type this.

So, I'm now going to talk about something that I rarely, if ever, blog about: music (gasp!). So, I discovered a new fav. Jason Mraz. He's popular, which is kind of annoying, but only his one song is popular ("I'm Yours"). That song is really Jack Johnson-esque, but the rest of his album is more jazzy. Also, the lyrics are NOT like Jack Johnson's. Because they're an eensy bit depressing. And sometimes not PG. But, I love him. So there.

So I read New Moon recently. It made me extremely mad. Bella is a wimp. I hate her. The first time I read it, I was all, "she lost Edward freaking Cullen, though!" But now I'm like, "Wow. You know, he wasn't THAT perfect. Get over yourself. Look at Jacob Black! He's, like, the absolute coolest person in the books!" So yeah. I'm a little mad at Bella. And Edward. Because he's a buttbrain. And overrated. Yeah, you heard me right. Whatcha gonna do about it?

I'm getting more and more bipolar. It seems like I'm only ever truly happy at lunch anymore. I need to get out more.
I dunno. I think I feel something big coming on. Like, an impending doom. Or at least, an impending....  something. I probably sound crazy. But that's what it feels like. Does anyone else out there feel it?

So, I discovered today that I can actually semi draw sometimes. But I end up hating everything I do. I did a portrait today. It looked nice. The hair was majorly screwed up, so I ripped the hair off. Then, I took a red pen and wrote on the face everything that I didn't like about it. When I finished, I was like... huh? Why would I do that? What did that accomplish? But it made me so happy. Like, I was finished only after I destroyed it. Maybe it's just a crazy artist thing. As if I'm an artist.

Have a good day, all.

So, Elise did a fun survey thing in her blog, so I decided to give into peer pressure.

What is the most valuable thing you own?
the most valuable things that i HAVE are my family and friends, but i don't OWN them. so... i'd have to say my life, like oe said. 

If you could trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why?
hmmm. i don't really have the desire to trade places with any celebrity. if i had to choose, it would probably be... oprah, so that i'd have access to tons of resources in order to help as many people as possible. she'd probably get wicked angry with me, though, because i'd spend a whole lot of her money. she'd have to deal.

What have you found to be the best way to relieve tension?
walk away from the situation for a little while and just breathe and think it through. chill out, you know?

If you could choose only two movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
this is wicked hard. becoming jane and wall.e.  if i were to pick again tomorrow, it would probably be different.

Name three things you wanted as a child but never got.
a telescope, a microscope, and a lamb. i am a freaking geek.

If someone told you had exactly 9 minutes to live, what would you do in those 9 minutes?
i'd write a letter to everyone. phone calls would take too long. i wouldn't be able to think of what to say. so i would write notes. also, i would write down some directions for my funeral. because i'm ocd like that.

Describe your dream house.
i don't really have a dream HOUSE. like, as long as i have the basics (plus an extensive kitchen, so that i can cook), i'm pretty good. what's more important to me is who else is in the house, you know?

Do you believe people are basically good?
i think so. i believe that every person has moments in their life that show exactly how purely good they are deep down. i don't think God would create any truly evil person. like, Hitler loved his dogs. he was really really nice to his dogs. he had zero people skills, and he was seriously messed up, but he wasnt PURE evil. he was 99.9999% evil, but ther was still that 0.0001% of him, you know?

What is the most expensive article of clothing you’ve ever purchased?
ummm... my winter coat was $60.

What are your worst habits?
i demolish my nails. not much else is really habitual.

Who is the person you know with the purest soul?
i'm kind of biased on that one. i'm going to say kimmy. she's in my top 3. she's really good through and through.

Describe the happiest day of your life.
WELL.... I sat for hours out on a trampoline with my two closest friends and wished on stars for fictional boys, but we all know we are in love with other people. :)

Describe the saddest day of your life.
hasn't happened yet, but i know what will happen that day. not saying who, but someone will die. hopefully won't happen for many many many many many years. like, 80 years, minimum.

What is the oldest age you would like to be alive?
umm, until the day that was the answer in my previous question.

What was the best year of your life?
hasn't happened yet. but i know what will happen within that year. so far, my best year has been this one. every year gets better and better.

So, there you go. Other people should take that survey. This is me giving you peer pressure. Do it now.

Lots has happened since I last posted.

I just want to say that I love you guys. I know I don't express my love as often as Kimmy or OE, but I just felt like I needed to point it out. You may not think so, but I really need you guys.
I know I can be kind of closed off sometimes. Or, um, all the time. Because I think (actually, I know) that none of you has seen me with all of my "walls" down. If you did, I know you would so be there for me, but it would be a totally different Hilary then what you know. It's just that... I don't like to have to depend on people. I think it honestly goes back to Hannah. I've seen her hurt so many times... I'm protecting myself.

Woah. I have no clue where that came from. Okey dokey, well, have a good day, all!

(BTW: holy poop, did you see that? Notice how I go from totally deep to fakely peppy in like 0.2 seconds? I think I have issues.)

I figured I should post.

1st period: Music of Today. It's a joke class.
2nd period: Eco II. It's REALLY a joke class.
3rd period: World History. Best class. OE, Miranda, Steve. We watch movies every day. So, not really a joke class, but not exactly Mr. Saba, you know?
4th period: French III. Oh, my gosh. Where did all of these verbs come from??? It's like a whole other freaking language!!!!!!!
Lunch: Completely rocks. Only person missing is Kimmy.
I miss Kimmy!!

Ugh. I have never wished that I had HARDER classes before. But now I'm all bored all the time because there's no real CHALLENGE, you know? My brain is like, "Why are we back at school if we're not going to work?" And I say back, "I dunno, brain. We'll just have to watch some insane Discovery Channel stuff in our free time."

Okay, well I have homework and crap. Much love, peeps.

So, all day today, I have been at war with iTunes, Baby iPod, and the Apple company in general. I hate how Apple brags in like tons of commercials and crap about how they're soooooo much better than Windows, when iTunes flips out on me basically every day. It's so frustrating. Starting yesterday:
1. iTunes wouldn't download the songs I bought.
2. I had to go through support and crap, finally having to restart the computer and iTunes.
3. I finally get all the songs I want, and I do fun things like playing with album covers and perfecting my playlist.
4. I plug Baby iPod in to, you know, load those songs on.
5. It says, like always, "Do you want the newer, better software for your iPod?"
6. I think to myself, sure. Why not?
7. Baby iPod is updated. It tells me that it's done, but there is no iPod present in "devices." The computer does not recognize that B.iP. is plugged in.
8. So, the light is green, so I unplug B.iP. and re-plug it in.
9. iTunes is quick to tell me that my iPod is "corrupted" (I kid you not) so I will have to restore it.
10. Restoring it means that it wipes the iPod totally clean, restoring it back to its original settings.
11. I do that, then re-load all of the original songs back on, and then all of the songs I just bought.
12. Everything is hunky-dory. It says "Safe to disconnect." I do just that.
13. I turn B.iP. on. The green light flashes, meaning it is fully charged.
14. I press play. (fyi: Whenever I click any button, it blinks green once, like "I understand you, mommy!") It blinks green, orange, green, orange, green, orange, etc.
15. That is very bad.

So I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Cal is in the hospital due to clinical dehydration. We think she has coccidia, a bacteria that attacks the intestinal area. She had been puking and having diarrhea. She'll be fine, but it's still stressful.

I have a feeling like something else is going wrong, too, but I can't even calm down enough to figure it out. Like, everything is adding up and the inside of my head sounds like really, really loud screaming right now.

I don't even know what to do to calm down.

Yesterday I read all of the draft of Midnight Sun on Stephenie Meyer's website. Holy crap, that was flippin amazing, but that means I'm also running on low amounts of sleep, which is just making the stress thing worse....


Have a good day, all

That's a Beatles song. It's awesome. The next line, I think, is "Well it's my birthday too" or something of the like. Which, by the way, it IS!!!!!! (cue confetti). Yay!!! Well, there you go. I'm 16. Woohoo!

Being the last day of the song thing, I'm posting my favorite Hilary song. It's "Hilary" by Superdoo. Ugh. Love it.

Hilary

We decided on a name for the puppy! Her name is Caledonia, which is the ancient name for Scotland. Her nickname is Cal or Callie. So, that's exciting. Well, her full name is Caledonia Stellaluna Fallon Grube. She looks like a fruit bat (hence Stellaluna) and we got her from the Fallon farm. So, there you have it.

Okay, well, that is all! Have a great August 26th, all!

She's a little pugy now, but her parents are both really trim, so it really is a puppy thing. The Border Collie genes keep her from getting fat. Andrea, we're doing all of that and more, so don't worry.

Still no name yet, which frustrates me. We're leaning towards Brae (mom came up with it, not me. I don't really like it but I don't hate it, so whatever. I just need to be able to call her).

I got basically no sleep last night because I was busy helping our new friend get used to it here. So I slept next to the "Happy Den," which is what I call her kennel. She is not a fan of the Happy Den.

Mom's going to Hoof 'n' Paw for puppy shampoo, which is a good thing, because she smells like a cow barn. Which is okay for about 5 minutes, and then it starts to stink. Add the subtle undertones of wet dog, and it's time for a bath.

Right now, we're having a little bit of trouble distinguishing toys from Hilary's leg. But that's okay. We say "no" and move on.

I'm kind of grumpy due to the lack of sleep. I'm going to go chill for a while.

Oh! Here's the song selection for today. "Hilary" by Rootsy. Love it!!!


Hilary

The sun'll come oooooout, tomorrow!

Hilary got a puppy!! She's about 2 months old, mostly a Chocolate Lab, but with a little bit of Border Collie thrown into the mix. She is extremely calm. She's brown with a little white on her paws and chest. No name yet, but she is A-DOR-AB-LE. I'll post some pictures when we load them in to the computer. You wouldn't believe her adorableness.

For my song selection today, I've chosen a semi-annoying-because-it's-so-happy song. From what I can tell, it's a pretty popular song from wherever it's from, because many artists have done their version. I can't understand anything but the name "Hilary."

Hilary 

So there you have it. Enjoy!

2 days!!

I've decided that, since my 16th birthday is fast approaching, I will be an eensy bit self-centered. I'm going to post one Hilary song per day leading up to my birthday. Today, I'm starting with "Hey, Hey, Hillary!" by Dean Friedman. I know, I know, this "Hillary" has two L's. Don't worry, it's still pronounced the same. As my dad says, "It's not your fault that they spell it wrong." Plus, it is an extremely happy song. I'm especially excited that my name rhymes with "distillery."
If you have issues listening and you're dying to hear the song, you can just comment me and I'll send you the link, although I don't think you'll have issues. (Edit: I just tried out this link and it took me to the FreeNapster page. I  temporarily disabled pop-ups, and then the player thing came right up.)

Hey, Hey, Hillary!
 
Enjoy!

I don't really know what to post about. I realized that I hadn't checked anyone's blogs in a while, so I felt like I needed to, and whenever I check other people's blogs, I feel like I need to post. Holy poop, was that a run-on or what??

Yesterday I went to the fair. It was pretty fun. We usually go with our cousins, meet up with the Reinerts there, look at the pictures we entered, and I hang out with Colin, Jake, and Patrick (the cousin). It was really weird because our cousins weren't there and the Reinerts are in Cape May, so already we're missing like 9 people.Then, we didn't get our entries in on time, so there wasn't pictures to look at. Then, Sarah came, so Colin was with her, and I hung out with Clara. So, yeah, it really wasn't like my normal fair experience. But I did see one of my camp buddies (Kristina), and that was fun.

I love sheep. A whole freaking lot. They are the best animals ever. Well, besides zebras. And orcas. But other than that, they rock.

Oh! My birthday is in 3 days! Are you ready???? I know I am!

(That's what she said.)

So, anyway, I did NOT go to the fair today. I went to WVIA Day at Montage (umm... Sno Mountain). So,  I rode on the ski lift 3 times, and that was exciting. But the truly exciting thing is that I, Hilary, rode the zip thingamabobber. I'm not sure what it's called, but there is some stuff about it here: http://www.snocove.com/ziprider.html 
There's also a couple of videos there. FYI: they are not lying. When they say "new," they mean "We haven't even finished the steps to get up to it yet, so there's some scaffolding." When they say 50 mph, they mean, you are going so fast, your eyes are watering so much that you cannot see. But, yeah, it was awesome.

That is all. Have a good day, all.

I'm bored. Like, really, really, really bored. I'm sorry, but this entry will therefore probably be boring. But short. Because I don't have much to say.

Hannah left for college today. That was... there. No biggie. I mean, biggie, but to be honest with you, she didn't spend much time at home to begin with, when she was in DHS marching band, and school plays, and choral stuff, and boyfriends. So I guess it just hasn't hit me yet.
But, hey, for the first time in my entire freaking life, I get my own room. So, woohoo! But, actually, I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep without the sound of someone else's breathing. That probably doesn't make sense if you haven't shared a room with someone for an extended period of time (like, say, almost 16 years). But, you know how when you (people who don't share a room) actually do share a room, it's weird for you to be able to hear someone else's breathing? (I'm just guessing here, that it's weird for you.) Well, I've just gotten so used to it that it freaks me out if I can't hear anyone else breathing. Maybe because Clara has asthma, so I've subconciously trained myself to wake up if she stops breathing. I dunno. I'll just have to get used to it, I guess.

So I think I'm going to the fair tomorrow. Harford fair. Nobody tells me anything, though, so I have no clue. Ha-- I'm so out of it right now.

I need to go, umm, sleep? Or at least stop babbling.

Have a great day, all.

I'm not stressed anymore, now that the auction is over.  I would complain about how long and boring it was (15 hours! no lie!), but that would totally bore everyone, so I'll save you the pain.

Well, Elise and Andrea both posted a list of random things on their mind. I don't really have that much on my mind, but I'll give it a go.

1. The phrase "give it a go." Love it. So British. British things are awesome. Ditto with Europe.
2. Yesterday at the auction in the Odds 'n' Ends tent, I bought an awesome Mika-like German bag. It's a messenger/laptop bag, but it's bright green. It says something in German. I know the girl who donated it and she said that she bought it in Germany in a place that was definitely hanging on to Communism. So I'm not entirely sure what the bag says, and I'm a little scared to look it up.
3. I'm sorry, but I still don't see why we (meaning America) hate Communism so much. I mean, I know it can't work with the capitalism system we have going, so we don't want it to spread here, but I don't get why we HATE it. Or at least hated it. I'm talking US History class here. If anyone could enlighten me, it would be much appreciated.
4. I stepped back just now and realized I went from the phrase "give it a go" to the subject of Communism in 3 steps. Welcome to my mind.
5. I finished The Host about 2.3 minutes ago. Holy poop. That is all.
6. Hilary Hoover came to my house to (I assume) say goodbye to Hannah (who is leaving for college TOMORROW). So she was in my room (which is also Hannah's room... for now...) while I was reading the frickin climax of the book. If you know me, you know that I enjoy talking to books. I couldn't do that with Hilary Hoover in my room. I was a bit tiffed.
7. I started a new sewing project. It is a shirt dedicated to my favorite-ist futbol team, Spain. Sigh. I love them.
8. I'm running out of things to say, so I'm just going to go eat dinner.

Have a great day, all.